~> ego.nuggit.nu <~ mng/cmt

This is an archive of journals from late high school. A bit like a diary, this was a personal fork off of my senior project at the time to build a fully functioning blog site that people could sign up for, manage, and etc. I managed to recover all the posts, but I apparently forgot to back up the comments and attached music tables before repurposing my personal server, so those are mostly gone. This is a little embarrassing but not as awful as my old Geocities/tcn.heathenkitties.net early high school journals.

Caught in the high beams

2008-05-19 21:50:29 Category: Music
Atmosphere - "Godlovesugly" 3:50
Once in a while I get in a rap mood. I don't know why or how, it's kind of random, but it happens. I do listen to hip hoppish IDM like Cex and Prefuse 73 fairly often. But yeah. It's kind of a jump.

But this is good stuff!

Atmosphere--I've loved his work for years, and I downloaded his albums over the winter, but never listened to them wholly. I'm listening to God Loves Ugly now and it's not bad. But the title track, Godlovesugly... I cannot get over that last part of the song. His rhymes and imagery are mesmerizing.

why scream, when you can lose yourself inside the wide-screen
let life be a bowl of melted ice cream
or be the deer thats caught in my high beams
im rollin with the lights on, scared stiff
reality is just too much to bear with
paranoid, walkin around careless
no wonder youre in love with your therapist
go to sleep my little time bomb

Just noticed an interesting connection though--I tend to love songs that mention going to sleep. I was obsessed with APC's song Pet back in my young teen days, where Maynard whispers "Go back to sleep." I still have a deep fondness for the Theivery Corporation's song "Until the Morning" where Emiliana Torrini croons "Sleep on tight..."
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Sometimes I just LOVE techno pop stuff.

2008-04-28 17:47:54 Category: Music
ATB - "Let U Go"
do DO do do do-DO do?
do-do do do do do-DO do?
(let u go-oh oh.)

The synths are so damn catchy. It's perfect.

This isn't even their best song--ATB really does have some catchy gems. It's some hot-looking German dude who does the music. Between ATB and Ulrich Schnauss, I've decided that all German electronic music is chrome rainbow vector sunshine.

This is all I have of ATB at the moment; none of them suck.
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This isn't it...

2008-04-17 11:49:46 Category: Music
Giant Drag - "This Isn't It" 3:03
I found this grungey artist by chance on the internet back when I still used WinMX on dialup. 2005 is when their debut album came out, but they sound like they're from the 90's. I think it's muchly their charismatic pluckiness that gets people's attention, but they do have some songs that are hard to ignore. They'd be good to see live.
They have interesting song titles. (V0)

This is probably my favorite song by them.
smothered and singed,
like eyes murdered in sin,
did you forget,
all the words you ever spit,

love love love,
this isn’t it.
love love love,
you wouldn’t know it
if it hit you

erase my name,
from here on out, it’s only pain
can’t tell you why
you hate me for living, won’t let me die

love love love,
this isn’t it.
love love love,
you wouldn’t know it
if it hit you
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Arcade Fire: Funeral

2008-04-13 21:14:37 Category: Music
The Arcade Fire - "Crown of Love" 4:42
I had a grudge on The Arcade Fire for a long time. Their song "Lies (Rebellion)" got really popular around the time I quit watching MTV for good. Their music video pissed me off. I think it was because I was sick of people being rebellious, and this song is totally promoting it. I was 14. Bush-bashing was fully "in", my peers were perverted and lame, and these crappy wishy-washy indie songs were getting popular. I was full of teenage rage, rebellious against rebellion. The phase passed but I was still wary of this band. It symbolized my frustration with the world in 9th grade, and it was a pride sort of thing that kept me away from it. (A similar story explains why I refuse to wear makeup or watch Monty Python.)

After three years and many pirated albums, I started to face the fact that there was a very high possibility of me actually enjoying this band. People I respected included Funeral as a must-listen. And I couldn't forget that one time a few years back when I'd heard a song, liked it, asked about it, and found to my horror it was by The Arcade Fire...

It sat in my iPod for a long time. Downloaded, but still shunned.

I came home from work today, drained, a sweaty zombie. I got on the laptop and witnessed horrible things that one sometimes encounter on the internet. I felt sick, then I glared and laughed. Then I started wondering about my morality. I popped on the iPod and played this album for no reason at all.

It uh, it was nice. I really liked it. It's healing.

It's humbling. I can tell it's the kind of music I have to be in the right mood to listen to, but that's okay. I'd categorize it with The Magnetic Fields, Neutral Milk Hotel, Sufjan Stevens--they're like ointment on a bruised conscience.
Ointment. Everyone needs it from time to time.
Try some?

I finished off this album with this delicious platter of edibles. Mochi with nori and shoyu, ginger-marinated chicken, and crispy sauted green beans.
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Hold the divine in mind

2008-03-18 20:15:00 Category: Music
Of Montreal - "Gronlandic Edit"
God, I love Of Montreal.
Listen to it. He has a way of singing that matches the lyrics just perfect.
Here's a portion:
(the surrealists were just nihilists with good imaginations)

I am satisfied
Hiding in our friend's apartment
Only leaving once a day
To buy some groceries
Daylight I'm so absent minded, nighttime meeting new anxieties
So am I erasing myself? Hope I'm not erasing myself

I guess it would be nice to give my heart to a god
But which one, which one do I choose?
All the churches fill with losers
psycho or confused
I just want to hold the divine in mind and forget
all of the beauty's wasted

Let's fall back to earth and do something pleasant
We fell back to earth like gravity's bitches
(Physics makes us all its bitches.)

Another one, "Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse"--I hated this song at first because it has such a sugar-sweet sound that reminds you of kawaii anime theme songs, except that a European dude sings it... but it's fitting when you read the words and understand the satire.
Chemicals, don't flatten my mind
Chemicals, don't mess me up this time
Know you bait me way more than you should
And it's just like you to hurt me when I'm feeling good

Come on chemicals!
Come on chemicals
Come on chemicals, come on chemicals...

I'll quit here before I post lyric bits from all the rest.

Every song on "Hissing Fauna, are You the Destroyer?" is gold.
Every song.
Sample more?

I plan to get more albums by them, as this is the only one I have right now, but I hear it's their best album lyric-wise. I can believe it.
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Next on the list of purchases

2008-02-20 17:36:18 Category: Music


It's only $30. The bass only goes down to 80Hz, and compared to speaker sets with subwoofers that go down to 40Hz or 20Hz, it's not great, but my current Altec-Lansing 2.1 set with the big subwoofer only goes to 60Hz so for these here speakers this size, 80 is pretty good. I love how it has controls on the front, along with the headphone/aux jacks. Very convenient.

After getting this, I guess I'll be looking for a laptop. That'll be harder... and a lot more expensive. I'll probably go for a Dell.

Heh, and after that is a cell phone. I'll probably get some clunky cheap phone. I wouldn't really care. Actually, maybe I shouldn't get a cell phone at all.
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In other news, I met Radiohead

2008-02-19 12:10:52 Category: Music

(There used to be a music track attached to this post, but the information for it has since been lost.)

in my dream last night. They lived just a couple blocks away from CAL in the middle of suburbia and I went there because I knew they lived there and they were giving out their "In Rainbows" CD for 'free' if you donated money. I still thought this was cool what they were doing, so I went forth and picked up the single CD lying on their front porch. Then the singer, Thom Yorke, came out the front door and I suddenly realized I didn't have my wallet. No donation. As he came up to me, I apologized, but he was very friendly and told me to take the CD for free. I grinned and thanked him. He smiled and set out another CD on the porch, then went back inside.

I was like, Whoa.

I'm not even a huge fan of Radiohead. Everyone thinks they're pure gold. Every album, pure gold? I like OK Computer a lot, and I like some other songs by them too, and I guess I should actually listen more to them before coming to conclusions, but they just don't make that huge of an impression on me.

But I think I will listen to In Rainbows tonight. There's gotta be something in there. I mean, Thom Yorke himself gave me their album.

edit: Also, you know what album is amazing? Future Sound of London's "Lifeforms" EP. Amazing. Really trippy stuff. I find it cleansing. Great for late at night.
I love Ecstasy of Saint Theresa's "Slowthinking" so far, too. It took me a few weeks to find a copy of the album and wait for it to be seeded, but it was well worth it! It's minimal/glitchy. My sister sent a few of their songs to me a year or two ago, that she got from some Czech dude she met on last.fm. This is a Czech group, but they mostly sing in English.
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My love Isobel

2008-02-13 17:52:32 Category: Music
Bjork - "Isobel"
In a forest pitch-dark
Glowed the tiniest spark
It burst into flame
Like me
Like me

My name Isobel
Married to myself
My love Isobel
Living by herself

In a heart full of dust
Lives a creature called lust
It surprises and scares
Like me
Like me

When she does it she means to
Moth delivers her message
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence
A simple excuse

Nana na nana
Nana na nana

Around 4 or 5 am, this song came on my iPod and I immediately felt better. Shapes and words formed themselves in my head, and it was good to know they were there.

Today I learned that sometimes-- even if you've whittled down your self respect to where you find it hard to do much other than stare soullessly out to the future, there's still a precious wealth of pride stored somewhere in the back that you've got to pour out to lighten your boat. I paced outside the classroom for 5 minutes before going in and talking to the teacher who hates me--dribbling out my pride with every word uttered, every moment of eye contact held with him. He repeated himself for emphasis, what I already knew he'd say. I nodded and walked out. Out, out. Outside. Asphalt. Automobiles. Aluminum. Chromium. Look at my thumbs, my thumbnails. Thumbnails. Nails. Stainless steel. Stainless steel. Stainless steel. This mantra calmed me as I inhaled deeply.

I missed the fresh air.
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In celebration

2008-01-19 22:10:43 Category: Music
of finally installing flash player on my loonix web server (which I've been using more for general fooling around), here's a song for everyone.
It's lovely.

I feel it falling, nothing comes to my mind
Bring it on in a different tide
I feel alright, alright
I feel strong, i feel rigid
It's nothing to do with the vision
Oh feels so right, so right
Sleep on tight, sleep on tight
Sleep until the sunlight
Sleep until sunlight
Sleep on tight
Sleep on tight, til the sunlight
Sleep on tight, til the sunlight burns you happy
Til the sunlight burns you happy, till the sunlight burns a happy hole in
Your heart,
In your heart

If you liked it you might like:

Yeah... I feel... alright, strong, and rigid, with a happy hole in my heart.


I'm going to Colorado on Monday. I'll be back like... Wednesday. I don't know if I'll come to school that day. I might, if I can.


Here's to hoping I'll pass English + CISCO + Special Projects + Career Portfolio this semester. Why am I even failing my independent period? It's ridiculous.
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LCD Soundsystem and Strokes kind of day

2008-01-08 02:12:49 Category: Music
good song--

"Someone Great"

This song and video never gets old for me. I remember this from middle school.

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