~> ego.nuggit.nu <~ mng/cmt

This is an archive of journals from late high school. A bit like a diary, this was a personal fork off of my senior project at the time to build a fully functioning blog site that people could sign up for, manage, and etc. I managed to recover all the posts, but I apparently forgot to back up the comments and attached music tables before repurposing my personal server, so those are mostly gone. This is a little embarrassing but not as awful as my old Geocities/tcn.heathenkitties.net early high school journals.

Sometimes, for no reason at all,

2008-05-22 18:04:26 Category: Crap
I feel like


But no, I'm calm, I'm happy, etc etc.
I don't even flinch.
But jesus christ. My blood is rushing and I have no reason to punch anyone or anything. Moreover, I do not punch. I do not yell. I don't get angry. Why should I be angry?

I want to punch babies.
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2008-05-14 09:12:05 Category: Crap
Thievery Corporation - "Indra"
I never want to wake up in the mornings because my dreams are so wonderful. Waking up is sort of like dying. I guess the afterlife isn't so bad, but it gets tiresome. It's the same thing over and over. The same things. The same worries. The same people. The same wishes.
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the Big Bang theory

2008-05-12 00:33:03 Category: Crap

(There used to be a music track attached to this post, but the information for it has since been lost.)

God spoke, and BANG it happened!

Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water.

Just some cute bumper stickers I saw on a minivan. They made me giggle.

Happy Monday and gnight.
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Also, ginger

2008-05-05 21:26:37 Category: Crap
is really good for you when you have a cold. I even read about it in a minimag while waiting in line at WinCo once, so it's true.
Peel skin off ginger with a knife, then slice thinly. Dump into a mug. Drop in some honey. Fill with hot water, and mix. Sip. Refill with more honey and hot water, then eat ginger with spoon while sipping.

You should try it.

I'm really fond of honey these days... like I'm loving these honey-lemon flavored Halls cough drops. It was helping me earlier when my throat itched, but right now I'm getting the wheezy kind of tickling in there, where every time I inhale it's like running a feather down my throat, and it's not very effective against that. So it's just sitting in my mouth tasting good.


Earlier this eve I got sidetracked for a few hours by this awesome story. It's pretty long so don't read it if you don't want to. But it's about how the world gets pwned (with explosives, nukes, viruses, and irl viruses), and only a bunch of sysadmins are left trying to communicate over the internet.
When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth
I love these kinds of end-of-the-world stories.

I was thinking the other day. You know what I need? I need a good horror movie. Preferably the kind like The Ring, The Grudge, and that other movie that never made it to the US but was about some restless spirit that called people on their cell phones then killed them. People laugh at those Jap horrors, but they genuinely creep me out in a good way. I need one of those.
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2008-04-22 09:04:42 Category: Crap
Death Cab for Cutie - "Your Heart is an Empty Room"
I am weaker than I expected. This is bad; I need some moral spinach.

I'm not going to school today. What's the point if I have nothing done? If I don't have the assigned material finished, I don't deserve the classroom experience.

I don't really deserve much, which is why I'm trying to cut down.
I spoil myself.

That song there by Death Cab for Cutie has been running through my mind since Sunday. It's haunting. It may be driving me insane, too.

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2008-04-21 09:53:16 Category: Crap
I walked into a conscious dream last night
in bed; swimming up and up, caressed by watery plant life and
shedding layers,
layers as I went. Lighter
to the light at the top, coming through a small round tunnel at the thick ceiling of the structure
so narrow I could yet get through.
A black feathery blanket hung off my right shoulder. I held it and knew I had to let this go too but
I didn't want to; it was warm in my hands, soft.
A few feathers fell off into my hand.
I didn't want to
The feathers fell easily as I patted it, and I was down to the main wool.
Then I knew that this
would not crumble to dust; it was a part of me that I could
retrieve again someday.
A soft voice let me know it would hurt.
I pulled it off and my shoulder and the side of my back started bleeding.

I tossed and turned in a panic, clutching my side, grabbing my ribs, but it bled everywhere over the sheets, the blankets. A soft voice told me to stop struggling, lay still, and it would heal...

This morning I found it pink, puffy, and raw like it should be.

I looked at my face in the mirror
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2008-04-16 16:16:23 Category: Crap
Sometimes I feel like throwing up. Maybe that's because I'm sick, or I haven't been getting enough sleep, but maybe it's because I'm on a tilt-a-whirl 24/7, spinning like mild then FAST then mild then FAST and gripping the ring, grinning and giggling madly because otherwise my body would snap and turn inside out.

Oh, of course I'm having fun! I love amusement rides.

Of course I'm having fun.
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So why the hell not.

2008-04-08 13:27:28 Category: Crap

Entry is private. Enter password

Proctor Silex Electric Kettle

2008-02-08 00:23:23 Category: Crap

Every time I use this, I end up with dust floating the surface of my tea/cocoa. The curlish kind that you can pull out of living room couch cushions. This happens even when I wash it out before heating water with it.

It gives me a funny feeling.

Perhaps the house is just dusty? I don't usually get that with other drinks I drink, though, and that rules out the cup being unclean as well.

I can't forget the first time I washed that kettle out. I noticed lil hairy things floating in the water so I dumped it and refilled it fresh, but I only saw more. I repeated, but somehow, the dust wouldn't go away. So I went with it. The water boiled perfectly. Then I drank my dusty tea, because

a little dust can't kill you.
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everything everything

2008-02-01 15:50:41 Category: Crap
I believed
everything would fall in place, fall in place, fall in place

I believed
everything would fall in place,
fall in place

Sometimes sanity is not a good thing.

"I'll get right on it, Sir!"

I'm not going to use oxycodone. No.
They're just sitting in a container right now.
I wish I could redeem them for...

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Sleeping position test

2008-02-01 09:48:34 Category: Crap

I am a toboggan!
Find your own pose!

:) fun.
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2008-01-18 12:14:43 Category: Crap
I am very angry.

I am

I keep hearing these instant message sounds, I feel like I'm getting instant messages but no, there's nothing. But I swear I keep hearing the sounds, so faint.

Connections. They define my existence.

funny how

I woke up this morning and I thought IM was in my head. People, inside my head. I knew potentially everything.

Now, nothing.
There is nothing.
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There is a dead spider on the floor near me.

2007-08-27 22:43:49 Category: Crap
I hate how the legs all crumple together into a little cage-ish looking thing, kinda like taking old staples and smushing them together into something between your fingers and thumbs. Sharp tangled angles.

I don't want to touch it.

I guess I'll just leave it there.
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Oh shi-

2007-08-15 00:21:08 Category: Crap

Entry is private. Enter password

# nuggit.nu #