~> ego.nuggit.nu <~ mng/cmt

This is an archive of journals from late high school. A bit like a diary, this was a personal fork off of my senior project at the time to build a fully functioning blog site that people could sign up for, manage, and etc. I managed to recover all the posts, but I apparently forgot to back up the comments and attached music tables before repurposing my personal server, so those are mostly gone. This is a little embarrassing but not as awful as my old Geocities/tcn.heathenkitties.net early high school journals.

Oh, the things I think of in the morning

2008-05-14 09:33:57 Category: Literature
Teenage girls should drink milk every day, so they can soak up calcium and help prevent osteoporosis later in life. Asian girls should especially pay attention because they tend to shrink and get osteoporosis more as old ladies than others.
I made this little doodad to help people remember: DAILY DAIRY
See what I did there? Just one change in lettering.
Too bad it doesn't rhyme though. "Daily derry"
And too bad it loses all meaning when the target Asians pronounce it. "Deily deily?"

*ba-dum tch*
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2008-05-14 09:12:05 Category: Crap
Thievery Corporation - "Indra"
I never want to wake up in the mornings because my dreams are so wonderful. Waking up is sort of like dying. I guess the afterlife isn't so bad, but it gets tiresome. It's the same thing over and over. The same things. The same worries. The same people. The same wishes.
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Egh. New look.

2008-05-12 23:41:23 Category: Site Related
The way it looked was bugging me, so I thought, let's wrap it in the same kind of foil as the main site (but keep the colors).


Stuff is easier to read this way, and the music buttons don't annoy me as much with the squareness. But... the blog looks too cute now... with the borders, and the brightness...

I also resized the banner image thing because huge banners aren't cool.

Three blogs in one day?! That's right folks. I have another one queued up too but hopefully I procrastinate on that by um studying for my Cisco lab final. It's happening in less than 12 hours. Crap.

I'll probably change the look again later this week.
Man, I'm screwed. And so sleepy.
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Serial Experiments Lain

2008-05-12 21:02:34 Category: Intarwebs
I watched what, two episodes of it? I was hooked from the second it started. Intoxicatingly eerie, mute, and mysterious. I love that.

It was almost six months ago that I watched the first episode;

That evening was my first experience
a fresh, spontaneous something
and a warm hand

I want to watch the rest. I want to know what happens to her. There's nothing stopping me from torrenting it or borrowing my friend's DVD set of it

I'm not going to
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Already I am setting goals for the summer

2008-05-12 18:27:18 Category: Intarwebs
Blonde Redhead - "23"
I wish I could work on them now, but unfortunately I should be studying for the finals and writing the ten or so papers I need to write before graduating in less than 3 weeks.

So I'm just planning for now.

My goals:
  • Become a Power User on waffles.fm
    • download at least 5 GB and upload at least 25 GB
  • Become an Elite on what.cd (am already a Power User)
    • upload at least 50 torrents and 100 gigs

Why these goals, you ask?
Well, I think it's mostly to see if I can do it. It's kind of like getting ahead in a game. I want to work at something and get the satisfaction of reaching a high level. Add inches to my e-penis, so to speak.

I used to do that on Gaia. I would work hard to get the gold, acquire an expensive item, and create a cute outfit with it on my avatar. You can tell you get respect just for looking fashionable/rich on Gaia. Maybe I miss that, lame as it is. But I hate what Gaia has become, and I'm not going back.

There is more of a point to getting forward on What.cd and Waffles. I'm providing music to the masses and making the torrent sites that much better. Of course I'll come across new music doing that, too, and I love discovering new music.

I've been making a list of albums/formats that are missing from each site that I could upload myself. To actually rip, create torrents, and submit them requires some time and focus though...
and I should be focusing on my finals.

edit: God I am obsessed with that song today. It's like being drenched in sunshine at a dried up riverbank in a huge yellow field with a cool breeze coming from the sky giving you shivertingles. Like you could die, and everything would be still be right with the world. Her voice passes through you like a filter. Gravity adjusts so you never hit the ground. Download
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the Big Bang theory

2008-05-12 00:33:03 Category: Crap

(There used to be a music track attached to this post, but the information for it has since been lost.)

God spoke, and BANG it happened!

Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water.

Just some cute bumper stickers I saw on a minivan. They made me giggle.

Happy Monday and gnight.
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2008-05-06 10:51:18 Category: Intarwebs

(There used to be a music track attached to this post, but the information for it has since been lost.)

1. I shop people's pictures behind their backs.
Like yesterday I saw a new picture of this usually self conscious girl on her myspace, and she looked absolutely classy and gorgeous in a way I hadn't noticed before! except for this one area that bugged me. So I fired up GIMP, saved and opened the photo, and cloned away. It was just one little area, an easy 3 minutes, and simulated how she would look if she plucked that very front part of her eyebrow. I did a comparison by alt+tabbing between the windows. I was satisfied.

I also felt like a crook. I didn't comment though.

2. I seriously considered linking a devout Christian friend sarcastically to an offensive blog.
One of my old friends posted a bulletin titled "An Obama Nation is an abomination!" and the body "Nuf said. :-P". I immediately ctrl+t'd and clicked into my RSS and searched for it and found something relevant enough... this blog from the Church of Jesus Fucking Christ. Maybe I've been a little obsessed with that blog, but man, it makes me grin.
On second thought, reading through it, I figured that actually sending this to her would be... of very ill judgement. She wouldn't even get it. She'd just go WTF at me. In a Christian way.

So, I didn't.
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Also, ginger

2008-05-05 21:26:37 Category: Crap
is really good for you when you have a cold. I even read about it in a minimag while waiting in line at WinCo once, so it's true.
Peel skin off ginger with a knife, then slice thinly. Dump into a mug. Drop in some honey. Fill with hot water, and mix. Sip. Refill with more honey and hot water, then eat ginger with spoon while sipping.

You should try it.

I'm really fond of honey these days... like I'm loving these honey-lemon flavored Halls cough drops. It was helping me earlier when my throat itched, but right now I'm getting the wheezy kind of tickling in there, where every time I inhale it's like running a feather down my throat, and it's not very effective against that. So it's just sitting in my mouth tasting good.


Earlier this eve I got sidetracked for a few hours by this awesome story. It's pretty long so don't read it if you don't want to. But it's about how the world gets pwned (with explosives, nukes, viruses, and irl viruses), and only a bunch of sysadmins are left trying to communicate over the internet.
When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth
I love these kinds of end-of-the-world stories.

I was thinking the other day. You know what I need? I need a good horror movie. Preferably the kind like The Ring, The Grudge, and that other movie that never made it to the US but was about some restless spirit that called people on their cell phones then killed them. People laugh at those Jap horrors, but they genuinely creep me out in a good way. I need one of those.
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If you have a sore throat

2008-05-03 12:06:37 Category: IRL Log
I highly recommend, in the morning when it hurts the most, a large warm cup of lemon ginger tea with honey.

Generally, any type of warm sugary water soothes the throat, but lemon tea with honey is yummy.

Also, banana.
And vitamin C. But not too much because I think it dehydrates you, which doesn't help while your throat hurts to swallow.

And don't take pills because it irritates your throat. I took some last night and my throat has only felt horrible since, until I drank my tea.

What a beautiful weekend!
Go out and have some fun for me while I turn the house upside down looking for my 3.5mm stereo cord.
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Sometimes I just LOVE techno pop stuff.

2008-04-28 17:47:54 Category: Music
ATB - "Let U Go"
do DO do do do-DO do?
do-do do do do do-DO do?
(let u go-oh oh.)

The synths are so damn catchy. It's perfect.

This isn't even their best song--ATB really does have some catchy gems. It's some hot-looking German dude who does the music. Between ATB and Ulrich Schnauss, I've decided that all German electronic music is chrome rainbow vector sunshine.

This is all I have of ATB at the moment; none of them suck.
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I am pumped

2008-04-23 22:14:50 Category: IRL Log
The Bumblebeez - "Repeater"
Sort of.

I get this way sometimes when stress starts to affect me positively (like it was meant to) instead of negatively, and I know what I need to do, and I do it. I still don't know if I can really write a conclusion paper for my Capstone and a whole Powerpoint presentation with 10-minute speech by tomorrow, but like John at work says, I can do it, I'm gonna do it, because I have to.

This isn't even binary. There is no 0.


I still feel like what society likes to call a "fucktard".
But this fucktard is on her way to graduating high school and then going to college to major in neuroscience software engineering and get a good job to pay off college debts and pay for an apartment and coke addiction later a house in the country for a husband and kids and a dog and my own online business.

As you can see, if I don't get this right, nothing will ever be right. Ever.

Back to work I go.
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2008-04-22 09:04:42 Category: Crap
Death Cab for Cutie - "Your Heart is an Empty Room"
I am weaker than I expected. This is bad; I need some moral spinach.

I'm not going to school today. What's the point if I have nothing done? If I don't have the assigned material finished, I don't deserve the classroom experience.

I don't really deserve much, which is why I'm trying to cut down.
I spoil myself.

That song there by Death Cab for Cutie has been running through my mind since Sunday. It's haunting. It may be driving me insane, too.

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2008-04-21 09:53:16 Category: Crap
I walked into a conscious dream last night
in bed; swimming up and up, caressed by watery plant life and
shedding layers,
layers as I went. Lighter
to the light at the top, coming through a small round tunnel at the thick ceiling of the structure
so narrow I could yet get through.
A black feathery blanket hung off my right shoulder. I held it and knew I had to let this go too but
I didn't want to; it was warm in my hands, soft.
A few feathers fell off into my hand.
I didn't want to
The feathers fell easily as I patted it, and I was down to the main wool.
Then I knew that this
would not crumble to dust; it was a part of me that I could
retrieve again someday.
A soft voice let me know it would hurt.
I pulled it off and my shoulder and the side of my back started bleeding.

I tossed and turned in a panic, clutching my side, grabbing my ribs, but it bled everywhere over the sheets, the blankets. A soft voice told me to stop struggling, lay still, and it would heal...

This morning I found it pink, puffy, and raw like it should be.

I looked at my face in the mirror
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This isn't it...

2008-04-17 11:49:46 Category: Music
Giant Drag - "This Isn't It" 3:03
I found this grungey artist by chance on the internet back when I still used WinMX on dialup. 2005 is when their debut album came out, but they sound like they're from the 90's. I think it's muchly their charismatic pluckiness that gets people's attention, but they do have some songs that are hard to ignore. They'd be good to see live.
They have interesting song titles. (V0)

This is probably my favorite song by them.
smothered and singed,
like eyes murdered in sin,
did you forget,
all the words you ever spit,

love love love,
this isn’t it.
love love love,
you wouldn’t know it
if it hit you

erase my name,
from here on out, it’s only pain
can’t tell you why
you hate me for living, won’t let me die

love love love,
this isn’t it.
love love love,
you wouldn’t know it
if it hit you
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2008-04-16 16:16:23 Category: Crap
Sometimes I feel like throwing up. Maybe that's because I'm sick, or I haven't been getting enough sleep, but maybe it's because I'm on a tilt-a-whirl 24/7, spinning like mild then FAST then mild then FAST and gripping the ring, grinning and giggling madly because otherwise my body would snap and turn inside out.

Oh, of course I'm having fun! I love amusement rides.

Of course I'm having fun.
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